Reprinted from March 2013

Really, it’s not funny. It’s not about being politically correct or too sensitive either.  It’s about respect and dignity. If asked, Rachel will flash a huge smile and tell you that the R-word is Rachel—and she’ll even spell it for you. If you spell it Rachael, she will tell you that is wrong. She will inform you that her name is spelled like Rachel in the Bible and that’s the right way. She might tell you R is for Respect. She understands what that means. When we made this sign last night, I asked her if she knew what the R-Word was and she told me no, “I don’t remember.”

I told her it was the one talked about in her “Just Like You” video and that it was not respectful. It is used to make fun of people with disabilities. “Oh. I remember that.” Truth is she has managed to be sheltered from hearing that word very much and when she does hear it, it doesn’t register that it is a disrespectful slur used to make fun of people with intellectual disabilities.

 

What I do not understand is why does anyone thinks it is funny to use the R-Word or other derogatory slang terms aimed at disrepecting and devaluiing other human beings? The R-Word is directed at people who often need the most help in our society. It is directed at individuals who by no fault of their own, have an intellectual disability. Why is that funny or appropriate? As a 4-H member, members learn that the H’s on the four-leaf clover stand for the equal training of the head, hands, heart, and health. You learn that the heart is to be “kind, true and sympathetic.” That is Rachel. She is inherently kind. She is true. She is fiercely loyal to her friends. She regularly compliments others. She loves others. She is sympathetic and sensitive. She wants everyone to be happy. Rachel works twice as hard to do half as much as many of her peers in her academics. She has to work hard to follow fast-paced conversations. She rarely complains though. She has joy and it is evidenced by her smile. One day last week, a lady came up to us and said, “Weren’t you the Mirror in “Beauty and the Beast”?” Rachel smiled and said yes. The lady replied, “I knew it. You have the best smile.” Rachel flashed it and said thank you. Rachel was thankful to have the part of the Mirror. She is appreciative of the opportunity to be in a play and to have any part. So, when you use the R-Word, this is the person you are degrading, devaluing, and disrespecting.

And as long as elected and appointed leaders, Hollywood, the media, healthcare professionals, educators (including special education teachers and administrators), church members, peers, friends, parents and the general public use the R-Word and allow it to be used, people like Rachel will be second class citizens.  They will not be treated with dignity and respect. As I like to say, they will not be able to live real lives. So, can someone please explain to me why it is okay and so funny to use the R-Word?

Do it for Rachel and yourself. And before you forget, go on and click on this link and Take the Pledge to End the Use of the R-Word.  Send it to 10 friends. Don’t do it for me. Do it for the 400,000 Americans with Down syndrome. Do it for the 6.5 million people in the United States who have intellectual disabilities.