I am a Law & Order junkie. I love it. I watchedthe original most the years it aired and I like all the spin-offs too!  Bobby Goren is my all-time favorite character. Yesterday, I was watching an original from back in 1994.  Jonathan and Rachel had gone to see Kung Fu Panda 2.  Rachel’s Movie Review is forthcoming. You would think I would have seen them all at least once, but I didn’t remember the show.  They used the R-word nine times.  Jonathan walked in while it was airing and raised his eyebrows. They weren’t using it as slang. They were using it as a description of a young man who had been killed.  It is the accurate medical term for what we now call an intellectual disability. I said to Jonathan that the show was 17 years old. I would never have used the R-word as a slang slur 17 years ago anymore than I would use any other racial or cultural slur. Still, I wouldn’t have thought much about the use of it on the show or in describing someone.  It was years before we had Rachel, and we wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow 17 years ago.  Rachel has changed everything though.  Now, I know the pain I feel when I hear someone marginalize people with intellectual disabilities by using that word.  I know that I give my “evil eye” to people who use it. I know that the roofer who came to my house last week to try to convince me to use him for my roof repairs used the word in his conversation.  I actually tapped him on the shoulder, gasp and said “We don’t  use that word in our house. My daughter has Down syndrome.”  His response was that he grew up with a rough crowd and they used it. I said that they shouldn’t and he shouldn’t. He won’t be roofing my house.Church and friends, even those who know and see Rachel, are not immune either.  A couple of years ago we were having our church portraits made and another family came in. I recognized them but couldn’t say I know them. They were viewing proofs at the same time as we were. From across the room I heard the mom say, in front of her children, “I look retarded in that picture.”  I have a friend who flippantly said in front of me last fall, “I feel so retarded.”  I gasped and said  “Friend, we don’t use that word.  Remember, Rachel has Down syndrome?”  She was mortified.  I never told anyone about her saying that, but she felt such shame that she apologized over and over again. No need for that. She said, “I never thought about it.”  Most people don’t.  Jonathan went to eat with business associates a few years ago.  One kept talking about the “short bus”.  Finally, Jonathan said, “My daughter has Down syndrome.”  I’m sure the person was embarrassed. That wasn’t the goal.  We want to educate others. We want to affect change. It is a respect and dignity issue. Rachel has changed everything.

When you are tempted to use the R-word or hear someone use it, I hope you will think of Rachel and all the Rachel’s in the world.  Rachel, who is a victim every time the word is used, is the girl who has won a reading award for reading over 5,000 minutes every year the past three years. Rachel is the young lady who has been in 10 stage plays, her picture has been on Times Square seven times, she has gone fishing with Bill Dance and has been on his show, she has been on the Today Show with Al Roker twice, she made all a’s this nine weeks and won academic achievement certificates both semesters, she goes to church and sings to the Lord every Sunday, she makes me smile every day. She is just one representative of who is impacted when you use this word or you allow it to be used. My signature line on my emails quotes Benjamin Franklin:  “Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are.”  It isn’t enough for you to not use it. You must speak up when others use it.

We are making progress. The stars of “Glee” are helping  us. In case you have missed it, here is a link to a public service announcement that ends with a message from Lauren Potter (Becky from “Glee”) and Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from “Glee”).  I think it is one of the most effective PSA’s I’ve seen. I hope you agree. Time will tell. Glee Says No to the R-Word

NOTE: In October 2010, President Obama signed into law Rosa’s Law, which will change references in federal law from mental retardation to intellectual disability, and references to a mentally retarded individual to an individual with an intellectual disability.